In order to fight the malicious left-wing rumors that Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol, was actually the biological mother of her latest son (born in April), and that somehow Palin had faked the pregnancy to cover for her daughter, Palin staffers issued a statement that Bristol, age 17, was actually five months pregnant.Woops. . . Hey Sarah, how those abstinence-only sex-ed programs workin' out???
Ok hold on, on a serious note, I'm confused. Let me get this straight: in order to fight the rumors that Sarah Palin's daughter is an underaged slut who got knocked up, you publicly admit that she's an underaged slut who got knocked up? Am I missing something here?
Ohhh, I see. You were fighting the rumors that the mother was covering for her. It's the "cover up" that you wanted to debunk; as if that's really what we cared about.
The real story here isn't that Sarah may have lied to cover for her daughter; even if true, it would be pretty understandable. The story also isn't that her daughter is an underaged ho-ho who got knocked up in the back of some pick-up truck like a common hussie. The real story is how craven Sarah Palin is and how easily she's willing to throw her own daughter under the public bus to spare herself from the vague unsubstantiated allegation that she was covering up for her daughter. It shows us that Sarah Palin will destroy her own daughter's reputation to avoid even the slightest rumor of some impropriety to Sarah herself. Keep in mind, they didn't release this news until after rumors spread that Sarah Palin herself was lying about her newborn son. Also keep in mind they insist on telling everyone Bristol is five months pregnant to "prove" Bristol couldn't have given birth in April too. They're not doing this simply to publicize that Bristol happens to be pregnant; they could have done that last weeek. They're doing this to prevent people from saying that Sarah Palin herself might have been misleading us by covering for her daughter; that Sarah "might" have lied. Sarah Palin would rather publicly humiliate Bristol than take any heat herself no matter how absurd the allegation. Ladies and gentlemen, Republican "family values" at their finest.
As I've said, the point of this is obviously not to point out that Bristol Palin is a whore. Nor to spread the unsubstantiated rumors that her daily wardrobe includes knee-pads or that she's bedded the entire football team; both JV and varsity. Not even to reveal that they allegedly tatooed the word "Schwin" on her ass because she's the most ridden object in town. It's not even to call for most of lower Alaska to submit to a blood test so we can figure out who the father is, or to discuss her forthcoming career as a porn fluffer in Chattsworth. No, we do not partake in schaedenfreude here.
What we do want to know, however, is why is it always Republicans who are getting knocked up by some hillbilly in the back seat of a Chevy after drinking a case of Pabst? Why is it always the supposed "family values" goons who have to lecture everyone else about morality while secretly giving it to their gay neighbor? Here's an idea, maybe if you were actually running your own family instead of trying to tell me how to run mine this kind of thing wouldn't happen! Still think Palin is the "family values" queen??
Sarah Palin should have just ignored the cover-up rumors and moved on; no one was taking them seriously until now. Instead she threw her daughter and unborn grandchild under the bus of public approbation to avoid any hint of impropriety in her own political career. And really for what gain? To spare herself from what? From being accused of loving her daughter so much that she'd cover up her mistake? No worries of that now. . . .
No comments:
Post a Comment